i have to put my medals away. & hand in my uniform.. i need to hide my spikes & vaccum the turf out of my carpet.

sometimes i make the title for my posts & everything. & then a few sentences later, im like

fuck it, i dont know where i was going with that.

i have no balls to break hearts.

& im coming back from running the warm up by myself. & im cutting through the parking thinking about how empty it was & i then realized that in a few weeks, its not gonna be empty at all. that same parking lot is gonna be filled with cars on graduation day. & then i remembered i was graduating this year. & THEN i envisioned myself walking my little graduation walk down the football field, in my little red gown.. & then my thought ended. cause i had to start practice.

i like being in the crowd.
i love the energy, the atmosphere, the heat. i dont mind getting pushed around & the long waits. thats what a fucking concert is! plus i feel like i connect with the performer that much more.. idk man i love it.

i must remember to avoid my father. cause all he does is kick me when i’m down. he only cares about the “i told you so” aspect of everything & couldn’t give a fuck about my feelings if he wanted to.

thanks, pops